How To Spice Up Your Sex Life: Make Sex Exciting Again
It's crazy to arrive at a point in your life where sex feels bland and boring. Once the only thing you could think about, now it's almost akin to a chore.
The phrase "maintenance sex" is thrown around, and that sounds about right to you. You have a partner, and you know that it is important from an intimacy perspective to maintain regular sexual contact. And it's with this motivation in mind that intercourse develops a weekly cadence.
You're still going at it, but always and ever with the intention of satisfying your partner, not in the original way, but at a more emotionally basic level. And when, for whatever reason, you miss your "night," neither person complains.
This is a pretty common relationship milestone, but it's also a depressing one. In this article, we cover how to spice up your sex life.
Have the Conversation
Don't just show up at the house one day with a set of fuzzy handcuffs. Begin your quest for sexual satisfaction with a conversation. It's an awkward one, but probably something that your partner will appreciate talking about.
Just lay your cards out on the table. "Hey, we don't do it the way we used to, do we?" Chances are they will agree. The best case scenario is that they'll say, "You're right, and here is how I'd like to proceed." Maybe they will have a very specific desire that you will be happy to run with.
In many cases, you're going to need to revisit the conversational aspect of improving sex often. This is because many people, maybe you included, don't necessarily have a well-informed idea of their sexual interests.
Maybe they have never explored sex in a mindful way. Maybe they simply fell so far out of a well-rounded sexual routine that they don't know how to find their way back. In any case, you and your partner will need to mutually explore your interests.
That will require a lot of open conversation. It will also involve experimentation, which is the fun part.
Sexual Enhancements
It's probably not news to you that there is an entire industry designed to cater to the needs of people whose sex lives have grown a little stale. There are toys and games and various accessories.
Are these products a good fit for you? Well, there's a good chance that some of them might be! If you and your partner are comfortable with it, consider taking a trip to an adult entertainment store.
There you'll find a wide variety of sex toys that can mutually enhance pleasure. You might also find creative stimulation aids - for example, sexual dice or playing cards that recommend new positions and activities.
These products are obviously not necessary in a strict sense, but they can help bypass inhibition and enhance your sexual creativity.
Accepting Frustration
It won't necessarily all click into place right away. Trying on a new kink could be awkward. New positions might feel clumsy. Developing an openness around sexual topics could very well feel embarrassing or even against your nature.
Give yourself and your partner grace. You'll grow into the experience over time. The best part? You won't have a miserable time trying to improve this aspect of your life.
Struggling bakers have a saying - you can always eat your mistakes. And while that logic doesn't (quite) apply here, you can at least see where we are going with this, right?
Don't Kink Shame
Or to put it another way, don't yuck someone else's yum. There is, of course, a fine line when it comes to kink.
On the one hand, it's definitely beneficial to both parties if you and your partner feel mutually able to describe any sexual desire without fear of judgment. On the other hand, you both also need to feel comfortable saying, "Actually, no. That particular thing is not for me."
How do you approach kinks in a balanced way? It is definitely helpful to be open to exploration, particularly when said exploration is safe and relatively nonintrusive.
That said, the extent of your permissive attitude will most likely be consistent with the request itself. For example, a new position is typically something that most people will be relatively comfortable trying at least once. Whereas something more nuanced, like partner swapping, will require a lot of reflection and conversation.
Explore Your Interests in a Judgment-Free Zone
At HeraHaven AI, we specialize in virtual sexual encounters that can be freeing and exciting. If you are undertaking a sexual revolution as an individual, it's a great place to learn more about your likes and dislikes in a judgment-free environment with no physical partner needed.
If, on the other hand, you are in a committed relationship, it can be an equally useful tool for both parties, allowing them to explore different scenarios without any actual risk attached.
