How to Not Come as Fast

You get excited. The moment you've been waiting for all day arrives. Then it's over. Far too fast.

Too swift for you. Also probably too fast for your partner.

Women, in particular, are uniquely inconvenienced by premature ejaculation. Despite what they might tell you. Your partner may never complain about it directly. But the fact is, if you're having sex with a woman, there's an almost statistical guarantee that she requires more time to reach climax than you do.

Particularly if you're a speed demon in bed.

This creates frustration for both partners. It can damage intimacy. It affects confidence. The good news? This problem is more common than you think. It's also very treatable.

In this article, we explain how to not come as fast.

Overview

Premature ejaculation is an actual medical disorder. It's very common among men of all ages. The good news is that it's usually fixable with the right approach.

The primary element behind premature ejaculation is typically excitement and anxiety. We'll talk about psychological aspects later on. But is there a potentially medical component?

The answer is yes, sometimes. Some men naturally have higher sensitivity levels or different neurological responses that affect timing. Certain men produce different levels of serotonin, a brain chemical that influences ejaculation timing. Genetics can also play a role in how your nervous system responds during intimacy.

Blame Dad? Heh. Well, maybe you could, but where does that get you?

Here’s the bottom line: No matter what biological factors are at play, there are steps you can take that will help at least a little. And if you need extra help that trends in a more medical direction, it looks like this: consulting with a healthcare provider who can evaluate hormone levels, prescribe medications like topical treatments or oral medications, or recommend specialized therapy techniques designed specifically for this condition.

Slow Down

Your personal rhythm might be a big factor behind why sex is ending prematurely. Many men rush through intimacy without realizing it. The solution starts before penetration even begins.

Start with an emphasis on foreplay. Take your time with kissing, touching, and other intimate activities. This serves multiple purposes for both partners.

For you, extended foreplay helps you practice controlling your arousal levels. You learn to recognize your body's signals. You get comfortable with building excitement without immediately rushing to climax.

This approach is particularly beneficial to females, who typically have a higher level of enjoyment when there's adequate buildup. Women often need more time to become fully aroused than men realize. By slowing down the entire experience, you're creating better conditions for both partners to reach satisfaction.

Think about the potential for enhanced pleasure. You get excited even though you've been having sex for a while. You still lose your mind the moment it's on the table. Maybe this means being too eager, both in your thoughts and your actions.

Two-pump chump syndrome is often a matter of reacting versus acting. You can't let your hormones take hold of the wheel. What they want is intense and immediate. But you're a thinking man, and you should apply thought even to this.

There are greater pleasures for both of you if you're willing to take the time and explore them. Take a grounded, mindful approach to foreplay. Try, if it's at all possible, to forget the conclusion and focus on your exact moment-to-moment sensations.

Here's a thing that kids like to say these days: "Here for a good time, not a long time." Well, with sex, the ideal ratio really involves a lot of both. Pleasure on the one hand, but also anticipation.

Squeezing, Kegeling, and Stopping. Oh My!

There are several physical techniques that can help you last longer. Let's break down each method and how they actually work.

• The Squeeze Technique: When you feel close to climax, you or your partner firmly squeezes the head of the penis until the sensation subsides. This temporarily reduces blood flow and delays ejaculation. With repetition, this can help you recognize and control your arousal levels.
• Kegel Exercises: These involve strengthening your pelvic floor muscles - the same ones you use to stop urination mid-stream. Stronger pelvic muscles give you better control over ejaculation timing. You can do these exercises anywhere, anytime, by contracting those muscles for a few seconds and releasing.
• The Stop-Start Method: You pause all movement when you feel close to climax, wait for the sensation to pass, then continue. This trains your body to recognize the point of no return and builds control over time.

Do they work? With repetition, yes. But here's the thing - these techniques aren't exactly a great time for your partner. Only marginally better than coming too soon is spending a long time acting like you're desperate not to come.

These techniques are better practiced with your hand than with a person. Master the control on your own time, then bring that improved stamina to your partner.

Masturbate More?

This is another common recommendation, and one that can be surprisingly effective, provided that it is done in moderation. While moderation and masturbation don't naturally hang together in some people's vocabulary, it is a fine line in this case.

On the one hand, relieving the tension beforehand can help you stay a little calmer and grounded when you're having actual partnered intercourse. On the other hand, do it too much and you'll kill your sex drive.

The exact ratio is, well, let's call it non-scientific. What works for one guy might not work for another.

Practice with Patient Partners

At HeraHaven AI, we specialize in providing people with virtual partners who will be infinitely patient with your ejaculation issues. Won't that be a nice change of pace?

We did recommend masturbation, after all. At HeraHaven AI, you can do it in a context that simulates real-life interactions while helping you increase your stamina